In our final Thought Partner on Cultivating Perspectives, today we’ll explore why it’s sometimes better to take that give. Perspective, that is.
In the desire to lead, connect, or cultivate any relationship, taking perspective is often more important than giving perspective. Think of it this way: a person believes their perspective is the right perspective from their point of view. So, giving them yours right off the bat may not be the best way to cultivate that relationship.
Sharing perspectives becomes a lot more effective when we pull back the reins on wanting to give people our thoughts and instead desire to learn theirs first.
Tips for Taking Perspective First, Giving Perspective Second
1. Tame Your Advice Monster – I’m sure I’ve recommended this book before, but I’m doing it again. The Advice Trap by Michael Bungay Stanier is a great resource to help you do that. Jumping to advise others before taking perspective can result in us solving the wrong problem, fixing their problem for them, and disempowering them to do so for themselves.
2. Pretend You’re at Disney World – One of my favorite things to do is people-watch. There is no better place to do that than at Disney World. People are fascinating. Take that fascination and curiosity and use it to help you take perspective. Say things like:
- Tell me more about that.
- Help me understand how you see it.
- What makes you nervous or excited about what’s next?
- What is the most important thing I should know about this topic?
3. What’s Their Story – People love to talk about themselves! When you listen, you hear their stories, which, in turn, helps you see how they interpret their world. Explore their story. We all have them; some of us have quite a few, and those details inform the perspectives we view everything through, from money to work ethic to relationships to religion. You can simply ask: “Hey, would you mind telling me a little bit of your story?”
Traditionally, we say giving is better than taking. In the case of perspective, maybe try to flip that.
