Happy June, Thought Partners!

Just typing that salutation had my eyes bugging through my readers, as fashionable as the pair I’m wearing happens to be. How on earth is it June already?

I can’t accept it! I won’t accept it! 

I’d rather float down the river of de-Nile! Unfortunately, I have to live in reality and the calendar tells me it’s June 3rd, regardless of my willingness to accept the rapid progression of time.

Accepting reality in this example is pretty easy; it doesn’t require me to examine any particular story I’m telling myself in my mind. 

However, what is highlighted is my reaction to the realization of reality. Revisit how I reacted…I used CAN’T and WON’T. 

Living in reality often means choosing between these two words. Neither are great, and the use of both are bad habits we should probably take a look at breaking, but ONE of these words steals your power. Which one is it?


Can’t is a power thief and sometimes, it can even be a liar.

Think about these statements:

  • “I’m too old; I can’t lose weight anymore.”
  • “I’m too tired; I can’t get to the gym today.”
  • “I’m too busy; I have no time to connect with him.”
  • “I’m overextended; I can’t assist on that project.” (More on this below.)

“I can’t” is most often a lie we tell ourselves or others and more than likely results in us giving up our power. It’s a resignation or a delusion we use to explain our reality and it can make us powerless against the actual feeling we’re experiencing. Powerlessness is not a feeling most of us are eager to experience. 


If you have to use one of these words, I would rather you use WON’T over CAN’T. Owning that you won’t do something restores your power…until you decide you WANT to do something about the issue in the future. And you may, or you may not. That part is totally up to you.

Follow me here…

  • “I’m not interested in dieting or working out and therefore I won’t lose weight, right now.”
  • “I would get a second wind if I dragged myself to the gym, but I won’t do that, today.”
  • “I don’t want to talk to him so I won’t call or text him, today.”
  • “I am overextended, and since I won’t find a way to move off some of my commitments, or I won’t learn the art of saying no, or I won’t call this overwhelm out to someone who can assist me, then I’m going to miss the chance to contribute to this project.” (I understand it’s difficult to manage work and personal overwhelm, but if you’re really going to own it, then you really need to look at all aspects of how YOU’RE contributing to the situation as well.)

When we own our response to whatever “it” is, we are no longer powerless over our choice. Responding to the stories in your head with “That’s not true; I can if I wanted to” allows you to control the narrative in your mind. You may not like hearing your reality and maybe that will inform your next decision. But in reality, living in reality and owning the narrative is better than floating down the river of denial any day.