About a million years ago (or what feels like it at this point), I had the experience of taking a tango lesson in Buenos Aires, Argentina. Although it was super fun, I was terrible. A mild consolation was my partner was even worse. I’m unsure if there were too many steps, if the steps were too complicated, or if I was more focused on partaking in my next glass of Malbec, but I would classify my dance efforts as highly unsuccessful.
Now, let’s fast forward to a recent client conversation concerning steps in the decision-making process. As is sometimes the case, when clients (and I’ll include myself here as well) contort or convolute situations and cloud our thinking, it’s usually a result of overthinking and overcomplicating the next decision that needs to be made in order to move forward. This was certainly the case with my client, who was stymied mid-process and struggled with taking action.
After a bit of round and round, I offered them an opportunity to deconstruct their thinking with what I call The 3-Step Dance. (Tango traditionally has 5 steps, so already it’s less complicated!)
When faced with a difficult decision, it’s helpful to think about your options as
3 STEPS; CHOOSE ONE:
1. The NEXT Step – What is the very next decision I can make to move forward? Make that decision. Now, make the very next decision. And do that. Rinse. Repeat. It seems simplistic and a little one-bite-at-a-time, but when one decision and its outcome informs the next decision and its outcome, it’s the only way to proceed. To speculate further is a waste of time as most speculation may not become reality. If your situation mirrors this, ask yourself, “What is the NEXT step to take?” Step forward.
2. Step AWAY – If you see no NEXT step, it might be time to step AWAY. Maybe you need to step AWAY and get some perspective or clarity; maybe you need to step AWAY and let someone else take the NEXT step or take some ownership. Stepping AWAY allows space to tap into insight and counsel from others. You may discover you are trying to solve problems that are not yours or need additional resources that are not available. Stepping AWAY is not quitting or failing; it’s a calculated step in the decision dance. Step back.
3. Step IN – If the decision is not the next one, or if stepping away doesn’t feel right, it might be time to step IN (or step UP, depending on your frame of mind). Is it time to make the call you’ve been delaying? Is it time to step IN or lean IN with the decision you haven’t wanted to make? Is it time to step IN with the hard stuff or the area that feels slightly foreign to you? Step IN/Step UP.
There are many different dances out there – some more graceful than others – some more complicated than others.
Break the steps down and move with confidence once you decide on a direction. Keep it to 3 STEPS.