If you happen to be a diehard Dave Matthews Band fan, you might be disappointed that today’s TPF titled “ANTs Marching” isn’t exactly a nod to their massive 1994 hit but rather a metaphor for our final exploration on this month’s theme of “Confidence & Doubt.”

ANTs, otherwise known as Automatic Negative Thoughts, create a much less harmonious sound in our brains than Dave’s music. That’s because these Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs) are generally lies that, although they may feel true at the time, are not. They are defeating self-talk patterns that, if we’re not careful, can build valueless piles in our brains. 

Examples of ANTs:

  • “Should” Statements – You’ve heard me talk about “shoulding” on yourself and others before. Shoulding is a negative spiral of guilt and shame that bites and stings. Spend less time shoulding and more time doing what you can to reduce the ANT pile. Shoulding is passive. Doing is active. If you’re active, the ANTs will have a more difficult time moving in and establishing a pile in your brain.
  • All-or-Nothing Mentality – One client not liking me doesn’t make me a bad coach. One discounted suggestion in a meeting doesn’t make you an idiot. One failed relationship doesn’t make you unloveable. When you’re out hiking, you watch out for ANT piles and snake pits so you can actively avoid stepping in them. Be watchful of the all-or-nothing emotions that pop up along your daily trail.

ANTs are not special; they are not unique to you or me. In fact, 
When all the little ants are marching
Red and black antennas waving
They all do it the same
They all do it the same way 
(I couldn’t help myself. Thanks, DMB 😉)

ANTs are a common problem for all of us, insidious annoyances that we can exterminate. But how? 

By choosing to make ANTs our PETs instead – Positive Empowering Thoughts. 

Examples of PETs:

  • “What am I going to win today?” – Understanding you can’t make everyone happy and you can’t get everything right (you’re not ice cream, after all). Set a goal to win one or two things today and empower yourself into action. 
  • Take Note of Your ANTs – Keep a running list of the ANTs you tell yourself for one day. At the end of that day, throw it away. Notice the waste of energy, time, and negative output. Trash goes in the can; why leave it on the desk for tomorrow?

Send your ANTs Marching.