If you’ve been a Thought Partner for a while, you know I’ve preached about the impact the word “feedback” has on our neurons. The mention of the word activates cognitive defensiveness before the rest of the sentence concludes. It signals judgment, and it activates armor in the recipient.

You also know I prefer the word “information” as an alternative. But why? It doesn’t make the message softer. It doesn’t make the message less vague. It makes the subsequent message clearer. It signals to the recipient that you are about to share observable data that aims to help them see what you see.

Please allow me to test my fictional prowess as we eavesdrop on Linda and David in the coffee shop.

Coffee Talk with Linda and David:
(An unrelated shout-out to Linda Richman, who indeed remains “verklempt”)

David manages a regional team. He’s sharp, driven, and well-liked. But in leadership meetings, something within him shifts. He speaks quickly, his volume rises when challenged, and he talks over people, especially when the topic of budget constraints arises.

His boss, Linda, knows this pattern is costing him credibility with executives and others in the room. She also believes David doesn’t recognize that this is happening.

Over coffee, Linda doesn’t start with praise or attempt a compliment sandwich. She just delivers her information.

“David, I want to discuss something I think is holding you back in leadership meetings.”

She pauses. Then goes for it.

“When budget comes up, your speaking pace doubles, and your volume increases. Last Tuesday, you interrupted the CFO twice mid-sentence. I don’t think you realize you’re doing this, but I’m noticing it, and I see others are as well. It’s giving the impression that you are reactive instead of strategic.”

No cushion. No preamble. Just clean, observable data.

David blinks and says, “I had no idea. Thank you for telling me.”

How to get started delivering Information instead of Feedback

1. Start with what’s not working and why it matters.
I had an incredible boss many moons ago (shout-out to Lori Berg) who used to tell me, “Lead with the headline.” Essentially, don’t ease in. Deliver the information directly, like you’re describing weather: factual, unemotional, specific.

2. Paint the picture of success.
What does resolved look like? What specific behavior replaces the problematic one?
Linda asks David: “What would it look like if you showed up as reserved and strategic in budget conversations as you do when you’re discussing operations?”
Do you appear slower paced, pausing before responding, and asking one clarifying question instead of immediately countering?

3. Close with actionable evidence.
Not hollow encouragement. Real evidence.
Linda draws on David’s bank of success: “You’ve navigated harder things than this. I’ve watched you turn around a struggling territory and rebuild trust with a team that wasn’t immediately on board. You’re capable of reading a room and adapting to it. I’m confident you’ll figure this out, too.”

When you reframe feedback as information, three things shift:

1. You stop hedging around the topic, and you get clear about change and results.

2. The other person stops defending their actions and starts processing the modifications they can make.

3. Change becomes possible because you’ve given them something concrete to work with.

Who needs information from you today?

Deliver it clearly.
Describe success specifically.
Remind them why you believe they can close the gap.

That’s not fiction; that’s leadership.