This is our final Thought Partner of 2025! Can you believe it, *|FNAME|*?
(Yes, I’m giving your inbox and myself a break next week!)
We’ve all been there—lying awake at 2 AM, replaying a conversation, catastrophizing about tomorrow’s meeting, or mentally drafting the perfect presentation you just know will be interrupted with questions before you can get through it. As professionals, we often pride ourselves on our ability to handle pressure, yet so much of our stress isn’t coming from external demands. We’re crafting it ourselves.
The good news? Self-inflicted stress is entirely within our control. The challenge is recognizing when we’re creating it. These three questions can help us catch ourselves in the act to choose a different path.
1: “Is this problem real right now, or am I borrowing trouble?”
Our minds are exceptional at manufacturing future disasters. We rehearse difficult conversations that may never happen, worry about outcomes we can’t yet influence, and create elaborate worst-case scenarios. Ask yourself: Is this actually happening, or am I projecting? If the problem isn’t real yet, redirect that mental energy toward something you can actually affect today.
2: “Am I confusing perfectionism with excellence?”
We often set impossibly high standards, believing it drives better results. But perfectionism isn’t about quality—it’s about fear. It keeps you editing that email for the seventh time, second-guessing decisions long after they’re made, and feeling perpetually inadequate. Excellence has standards; perfectionism has quicksand. There’s a big difference between the two.
3: “What story am I telling myself about this situation?”
A colleague doesn’t respond to your message. Your boss seems distant in a meeting. A project hits a snag. Immediately, we construct narratives: “They’re upset with me,” “I’m losing credibility,” “This is going to be a disaster.” But these are stories, not facts. You may not have received an A+ in Creative Writing but you can sure write a creative narrative now! Before you add the closing sentence on that tale, ask yourself: What evidence do I actually have? What other explanations exist?
The pattern here is simple: we create stress by living in imaginary futures, imposing unrealistic standards, and believing our anxious interpretations without questioning them. (Coaches help with this, by the way!)
These questions won’t eliminate legitimate pressures, but they’ll help you stop adding unnecessary weight to what you’re already carrying. Leadership is demanding enough without volunteering for extra suffering.
The next time you feel overwhelmed, pause. Ask yourself these three questions. You might discover that the biggest source of your stress is also the one person who can immediately do something about it: YOU.
I was serious when I said “Coaches help with this.” If you know you want to further your success, push yourself into the next and the new, or explore some of the traits you fear may be holding you back, 2026 needs to be the year you invest in yourself. Coaches aren’t miracle workers, mystics, or wizards (although I’ve been accused a time or two of having a crystal ball); we are certified professionals who derive immense gratitude from escalating other professionals and watching them achieve their goals.
If 2026 is the year you want to explore coaching or create a coaching culture in your organization, DO IT. Reach out to me to investigate; I will help.
A FINAL NOTE: An immense thank you to all of you for being a Thought Partner and dutifully reading another year of my Friday musings, some better than others, some funnier than others, some more resonating than others. I am truly grateful to each of you (and I see your names each week!). It is an honor to be in your circle. Have a wonderful holiday season, close to the year, and I will see you again on January 2, 2026!
