Most leaders I have worked with over the years tell me that conflict is their least favorite part of the job. Many also quietly admit that it is the part of their role they think they handle least well. As someone whose second-highest CliftonStrength is Harmony, I get it! Believe me.


This admission matters more than it might seem. Workplace tension is at an all-time high right now. Productivity pressure, economic uncertainty, and the daily friction of people with different personalities and priorities working in close quarters have made conflict a near-constant reality for most leaders. And the research is clear: leaders spend a significant portion of their time managing it, and most organizational breakdowns trace back to underlying conflicts that were ignored for too long.


As a result, there are two ideas I want to share with you today.


First, avoidance is not a neutral act. The longer a conflict sits unaddressed, the harder it becomes to untangle. When leaders sidestep difficult conversations, they send a message to their teams that discomfort is something to route around rather than work through. Over time, that creates cultures where honest exchanges of information disappear, and people learn to stay quiet. The people you most need to speak up stop doing so.


Second, when someone brings you a grievance, the first thing they need is to feel heard. Not solved. Not managed. Heard. Before you offer perspective or move toward resolution, be fully present. Listen for what is said and what is not. Reflect back what you are taking in and what you notice. Then ask questions. You will almost always learn something that changes your understanding of the situation.


These two practices will not resolve every conflict on your team. But they will change the quality of the relationships you are navigating them within.


I do this work with leaders every week. If you need a Thought Partner, I’m here. 


What is one conversation you have been putting off that is costing you more by waiting than it would to have it? When are you going to schedule it?