This month, our theme is Cultivating Perspectives.
Today’s specific focus is how we gain perspective for ourselves.
The other day, concluding a session, a client said, “I always feel so much clearer (and calmer) after we talk.” Aside from making my day, I had to be honest with her and tell her, “That’s because you can’t see yourself think, but I can, and I get the privilege of showing it to you. Then you realize what you want to do and you have a plan to move forward.” That’s the benefit of coaching, and it’s also why we sometimes can’t see the solutions we have inside until we share them and they are shown back to us.
I think everyone should have a coach, however, if you don’t have one, how can you gain perspective when you need it most? Allow me to offer some ideas.
Tips for Self-induced Perspective
1. *|FNAME|*, calm down. – Just like you read that, is how you need to say that. When we reference ourselves in the third person, it offers our brain an opportunity to distance itself from the emotional connection we’re feeling to the situation. We know we don’t do our best thinking when we are in a heightened state of frustration or stress. Talk to yourself as you would talk to someone else. You would use their name because they are not you. Ask yourself, “What is the real challenge you’re facing, *|FNAME|*?” and see what they tell you. Move forward from there with your next question to them.
2. Replay the Tape – That might be a dated reference since very few of us have tape recorders or dictaphones anymore, but we do have voice memo apps on most of our phones that do the same thing. Record yourself talking about the problem or issue you’re thinking about. Then, play it back and listen as if you are eavesdropping on someone’s conversation in the coffee shop. (Oh, don’t give me that, we’ve all done it! 🙄). The point is, when you’re listening to someone else talk about an issue, you often realize you want to ask a question to clarify something, get more information, or at the very least offer advice or a possible solution. Do that for the person on the tape (app 😉).
3. Look Back from the Past – Imagine it’s 6 months or a year from now, how did it all work out based on the decisions you made at the time? Which decision made you proud? This tip is helpful in emotionally charged situations because you might realize that 6 months or a year from now, none of it made any difference anyway. If that’s the realization, maybe you say, “*|FNAME|*, keep it moving and find a more long-lasting, critical issue to focus on.”
4. WWSS – If I’m currently your coach, if I’ve been your coach, or if you’ve been a loyal Thought Partner Friday reader for some time now, chances are, at some point, you’ve heard me in the back of your head (regardless of whether you’ve wanted to or not). So, my last tip is, WHAT WOULD STACY SAY? Or what would Stacy ask me? Honestly, this tip is less about me and more about you holding yourself accountable to answering someone else. How are you answering?
Having a coach in your life is a tremendous benefit for going further faster. Of course, if you are interested in learning about working with me, I’m always here. In the meantime, when you need some self-perspective, keep these tips handy!
