Peter Drucker, “Father of Modern Management,” called it when he said:
“One either meets or one works. One cannot do both at the same time.”

And yet, here we are… overscheduled, under-prepared, sitting around conference tables (virtual or otherwise) that drain us more than they move us forward. If you’ve ever walked out of a two-hour meeting wondering what, exactly, just happened, you are not alone. More importantly, you’re not helpless.

The problem isn’t that meetings exist. Meetings, when done well, are one of the most powerful tools a leader has. The problem is that most of us inherited our meeting habits from leaders who modeled bad ones, and we’ve never stopped to question them.

So let’s question them!

Here are three ways to start leading meetings that people actually walk away from feeling energized.


1. Ask for feedback. Right after. Every time.
This one makes leaders uncomfortable, and that discomfort alone is a signal worth paying attention to.

Most of us wait for the annual engagement survey to find out that our meetings are exhausting people. By then, the damage is done. Instead, try this: immediately after your next meeting, pull someone aside, or send a quick message, and ask them three questions:

  • What did I do that made this meeting work?
  • What was the most energizing moment for you?
  • What moment felt like a drain?

That’s it. Three questions. Two minutes. Priceless data.

Here’s a pro tip that will make this even more effective: give your feedback questions to that person before the meeting starts. Let them know you’ll be asking. Not only does it signal to your team that you take their experience seriously, but it also primes them to pay attention in a way they wouldn’t otherwise. You’ll get sharper, more specific answers, and you’ll model the kind of reflective leadership that inspires others to do the same.


2. Ban the word “discuss” from your agendas. Permanently.
Look at your next meeting agenda. If “discuss” appears anywhere on it, delete it right now and replace it with something that tells people what needs to happen.

Because “discuss Q2 results” is not an agenda item. It’s an invitation to wander.

Great meeting leaders are specific about the purpose of each item.

Is it a decision that needs to be made? Say so.
Is it an update that needs to be delivered? Say so.
Are you exploring options?
Assigning ownership?
Reporting on progress?
There is a word for every purpose, and none of them is “discuss.”

When your team looks at an agenda, and every item has a clear verb and a clear outcome, something shifts. People come prepared. They know what’s being asked of them before they walk in. And you spend your meeting time doing the work instead of figuring out what the work is supposed to be.


3. Make “conclusion first” a non-negotiable in your meeting culture.
At the start of the meeting, say something like, “Before you explain your thinking, give me your conclusion or recommendation in the very first sentence.”

Then offer the scaffolding to do it:

  • “I think we should do X because…”
  • “The next step I’m recommending is…”
  • “The problem, as I see it, is…”
  • “If we gave this idea a try, …”

When you don’t do this, someone begins explaining the background, the history, the context, the nuances, and by the time they get to the point, you’ve lost eight minutes and half the room. People start finishing each other’s sentences, talking over each other, or simply tuning out.

When you flip it and start with the conclusion first, explanation second, everyone in the room can follow the thread. Decisions get made faster. Conversations get sharper. And the people who tend to ramble? They suddenly realize how much they can say in one clear sentence.

Introduce the phrase, post it somewhere visible on your screen during virtual meetings, and when someone starts at the beginning instead of the end, gently redirect them. “Hold on; give us your recommendation first.” Make it fun and a challenge. Try it consistently, and within a few meetings, your team will start doing it with each other.


Leadership is about stewardship, and that includes the stewardship of your team’s time and energy. Every ineffective meeting is a quiet message that their time doesn’t matter. Every sharp, focused, well-run meeting is a statement that it does.

You don’t have to overhaul everything at once. Start by trying one of these ideas. Try it at your next meeting. See what changes.

And when it works, and it will, let me know. I’d love to hear about it!